What I Learned: A month without being internet social

A little over a month ago, I made the decision to log off my social media accounts for December. I knew it would be hard, but I didn't know it would be easy. After a few days, I quit trying to open the invisible apps on my phone and found new realizations. Here are the things I learned about not being on social media:

I don't care.
No offense, but half the stuff on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter, I don't care about. With the social media, it was convenient to get to know someone without really asking, but without social media it was almost convenient to not have to care. I didn't have to worry about 'liking' something to let the person know that I still cared about him or her, even though I didn't exactly care about the thing he or she posted.

I do care.
There was the other half of the stuff that I did care about. Updates on family members, exciting things happening to friends, pictures that were taken at Christmas. The first half of the month, I was at college, so I didn't get updated on what was going on at home. The second half of the month, I was at home, so I didn't get updated on what was going on with my friends at college. I missed the long-distance updates without having to ask.



I wasted time.
I would procrastinate studying or chores because I was on social media. Without it, I didn't have anything "better" to do but be somewhat productive.

I cared too much what people thought.
I would craft each post knowing who would 'like' it before I even posted it. But if I was just being myself and I didn't get "enough" 'likes', I felt that people didn't like who I was.



I don't have to try to be creative.
I'm not really a hands-on creative person. Occasionally, I enjoy being crafty, but only about once every 3 or 4 months. I would rather spend my time being "productive" with things I use. But seeing the "Look what I made!" posts on social media made me feel like I needed to make things, too. Thankfully, I don't.

I used social media as a substitute.
When I first began my social media hiatus, I would find things that I could do differently with my new free time. This included reading the Bible. Eventually, I realized that I used Facebook as my substitute when I didn't want to read the Bible.


I don't have to act surprised when people tell me things.
When people would tell me things that was going on in their lives, I didn't want to be rude and tell them that I already knew because they posted it on Facebook. Now, when people tell me things, I can genuinely be surprised.

There are more productive ways to be unproductive.
I can read a book. I can write in a journal. I can research random facts. Elephants only sleep two hours a day.

There is much, much, much more to life than finding the perfect Facebook/Instagram/Twitter update.
This includes sleeping more hours a day than an elephant. 



Not long after I gave up social media, I got an email basically saying that almost everyone tries to fill a void in their life by trying to be perfect in some sort of way. Unknowingly, in a way, mine was social media. The email later said that the only way that void can be filled is through Christ.

He does not care how many 'likes', 'followers', 'favorites,' or 'retweets' we get. No matter how perfect we seem on social media, we'll never be perfect. Instead of posting our sorrows on social media, it's much easier to talk to God about them. He is the only one who can truly make our heart happy.

With that, I don't have much of a desire to be on social media anymore. I definitely won't be downloading the apps on my phone, and I will probably only log on if I am extremely bored.

Why I am giving up social media...

Lately, I've been pretty gloomy. At first, I thought it was only because I'm three hours away from my family, experiencing stress from college, and lacking sleep. While this probably has a little to do with my mood, this month, I've been evaluating myself. I found the times that I feel most down is when I am on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter. I began realizing why I feel down when I am on social media.

Facebook was intended to share ideas, thoughts, and amazing things that have been going on in someone's life. Everything that person shared went to people he or she selected to be his or her Facebook friend. People then morphed Facebook to a place that they use as their way of sharing almost every thought or question that is running through their head. I completely understand that each person can use his or her Facebook in his or own way. I am okay with that. But lately, all I see are posts like:

• "I am sick."
• "I am busy."
• "I am sick and busy."

I truly empathize with these people. But when I see someone sharing amazing things going on in their lives, I can't help but feel like they are faking it. I feel like there has to be something wrong with their life. This provokes sadness, anger, hypocrisy, jealousy, and judgement inside of me. 

Instagram was intended to share pictures. Pictures that inspire. Pictures that capture amazing moments in someone's life. I loved Instagram when I first downloaded it. But then words and phrases like "selfie" and "woman crush Wednesday" came along. I'll admit. These were fun to see at first, but I can't stand them now. 

Two girls can have the exact same followers. Exact. They can each post a "selfie" doing the exact same pose. They can attach the exact same song lyric or Bible verse to the "selfie". But one girl will get more "likes" on her photo than the other.

One girl, who may be extremely beautiful, but has the ugliest personality, can be ten different boys' "#womancrushWednesday". But another girl, who may be the kindest, most loving person, but may not be as physically attractive may never have "WCW" hashtagged next to her name. 

While I rarely post "selfies", seeing other people's and how many "likes" they received have unintentionally made me question my self worth. 

Twitter is probably the less of the three evils. But it creates the illusion that just because I follow someone, I must be their friend. However I may never actually talk to that person in "real life".

Twitter is also a popularity contest. The more followers you have on Twitter, the cooler you are. 

So because of all this, I have decided to give up social media for the month of December. This doesn't mean I don't want to hear/see about my friends life. So please, please, please, if you want me to know about is going on in your life, e-mail me, text me, call me. If you don't have my email or phone number, let me know and I will give it to you. 

The 10 things I miss most about my small hometown.

Although I love being in Shawnee, I miss the familiar surroundings I had living in a small community. Here are some of the things I miss most:












1. My church family
It has been difficult finding a church that I connect with. 

2. Quiet scenery
At home, I didn't hear traffic, chainsaws, lawnmowers, sirens, and loud talking on a minutely basis. I could control most of the noise I heard, and the skies and open fields made everything more peaceful. 

3. Less traffic
I hate driving. 

4. Being busy
In junior high and high school, I looked forward to the weeks I didn't have anything to do. But now, I get so bored, and I am not easily entertained as some. 

5. Being genuinely concerned when I heard a siren
The campus is right next to a hospital, so I hear sirens on a daily basis. I have gotten to the point that I almost ignore it. At home, I didn't hear sirens often, but when I did, a wave of concern would come over me. 

6. High School basketball
Really, I just miss how the community all came together for basketball games. 

7. Consistent sleep schedule
While my morning routine is pretty consistent, each night I go to bed at a different time for different reasons. Some nights, I may have finished my homework early, so I go to bed early. Other nights, there will be people outside my window or door talking loudly for hours. I miss having a set time that I know I will fall asleep. 

8. The local newspaper

I miss reading news about people I knew and cared about. I also miss writing news   about people I knew and cared about. 

9. My friends
All of them...

10. My family
This is a given.

Dear High School Senior... (Part 2)

I've been at college for 86 days, and today I finally realized it. It wasn't because of the course work, dorm life, cafeteria food, campus, or the fact that I am 3 hours away from my home. It was because of an Honor Band audition. 
For six years of my musical life, my Octobers and Novembers consisted of WOCDA Honor Choir and auditions, All-State Choir auditions, the occasional Honor Band, National FFA Convention and Nat'l FFA Band (2 years), Pep Band at the home basketball games, and Veterans' Day programs.
This was my favorite time of the year. Going on trips with my favorite people and doing some of my favorite things. 
This year, my October and November have consisted of Pep Band at home football games, Symphonic Winds concerts, and Bisonettes concerts.
While I have loved being a part of this, it's almost like my life has drastically slowed down. 

Dear High School Senior,

You are less than six weeks away from being halfway done with high school.

You've probably been busy with all of your activities, and your probably a little stressed. But you don't really mind, because it takes the focus away from realizing it's your last time to do that. 

In six weeks, you'll really start to develop senioritis. The symptoms of these differ from each person.
You'll either:

• Quit caring about school
• Overload yourself with activities

In six weeks, it'll start to settle in that you are a senior. You'll only have five months before you graduate.

In this time, you'll finalize your decision on what you want to do with the rest of your life. You'll figure out what college you want to go to or what job you might want.

People will ask you on a daily basis what you are going to do after high school. You should probably start memorizing the answer to this question.

However, in these next six weeks, you should be calm. Enjoy your last few weeks before the calendar changes to the year you graduate.

Spend time with family. Spend time with friends. Be a high school student. In a year from now, EVERYTHING will be completely different. 

So, unless it's extremely important and time sensitive, don't worry about college or life after high school.

Enjoy the things you like to do, but don't overdo it. 

Sincerely and Love,

Me

P.S.: It's still nice to tell people to have a great day. 

 

Dear Unworthy Person,

I was blessed to come from a community and school where I felt respected most of the time, but I have recently seen many posts from people about their child or sibling going through difficult times at schools. Even though I know these kids and how wonderful and amazing they are, I understand why they don't see it in themselves.

It's tough going to a school that is primarily sports focused. You're taught at a very young age that winning is the most important thing, and if you aren't the most talented athlete, (even at 8 years old) you don't get to play that often. At first, it encourages you to keep working hard, but eventually, you get bored. So you find other things that interest you to keep you preoccupied; unfortunately, in elementary school, being talented at things other than sports isn't exactly considered cool. So other kids tease. They laugh. And you give up your interests to be "cool," even if that means sitting on the bench being bored.

So when does the teasing end? I'm not exactly sure. But from what I've noticed, it usually dies when you decide you're tired of being bored, and you want to do the things that interest you. Then you surround yourself with other people who were also tired of being bored.

And if you haven't already,
surround yourself with people who encourage you. They help you become a better person. They keep you accountable. And they pray for you. And they love you.


To the kids who feel unworthy- it'll get better if you allow it. 
To the parents and siblings- Encourage them. Help them become a better person. Keep them accountable. Pray for them. Love them. 

"In the darkest night, You shine Your light."

Jacob began on a journey and met Rachel. Jacob fell in love with Rachel and wanted to marry her. After working seven years for her, Rachel’s father, Laban, gave Leah, his elder daughter, to Jacob instead. Jacob was upset, but he still loved Rachel. He worked seven more years to marry Rachel. When Jacob finally married her, God saw that Leah was unloved. God allowed Leah to conceive, but Rachel was not able to have children for a period of time. Rachel became jealous and was upset with her husband.

Leah was forced to marry a man who did not love her. This was difficult for her; however she did not seek revenge as Rachel later did when she became jealous of Leah. Leah also did not attempt to make Jacob feel guilty like Rachel did.  Instead, Leah turned her attention to God. God saw this and blessed Leah with numerous children. Leah was desperate to gain Jacob’s affection, but Jacob continued to only love Rachel. Although it was difficult for Leah, she quietly turned her sorrows to God and He blessed her with six sons and one daughter.

We all go through periods of time when we are seeking a relationship. We may want a relationship with a mother, a father, a sibling, a friend, or a significant other. With that, most of us go through times where we feel unloved by someone in our lives. However, when we experience this loneliness, we must turn to God. Leah gave birth to three sons before she fully realized that Jacob was not giving her sons, rather, God was blessing her. Just like He did for Leah, God will love and bless us in our time of need.

Dear High School Senior..

I've been at college for almost a month; yet, high school seems so long ago. Last Saturday, about 300 high school seniors came to the campus for Fall Preview Day. As I was going back and forth to band practice, I couldn't help noticing those who were visiting the campus. I remembered being in their place just a year before. I had little idea what I would be getting myself into and remembered taking Fall Preview Day with a grain of salt. 

Up to my senior year in high school, I was successful in nearly everything I did. And in my mind, senior year was going to be no different. However, it was. I didn't meet my high-expectations I had for myself. And it was frustrating. I spent most of my senior year moping and dwelling on it. It wasn't until the last few weeks, that I realized how much time I wasted not enjoying my senior year. 

So with that, this is a letter that I wish I could write to the person I was a year ago. 

Dear High School Senior,

Do you remember the first day of kindergarten? You had to leave all your daycare friends behind, and your mom left you for a full day with a bunch of strangers. There were thousands of butterflies in your stomach and you wanted to cry. But you didn't. You made friends with the person sitting next to you, and your classmates were no longer strangers.

Now you're just beginning your last year of high school. You're surrounded by people who care for you, friends who laugh with you, and you always know that you can go home when the day is over.

You probably have high expectations for yourself. You want to continue the legacy you made of yourself and set the standard for the underclassmen following in your footsteps.

It isn't going to be easy.

You're going to make huge decisions. You have to decide which college you want to go to. You have decide what you want to be when you grow up (and even if you have no clue, you're going to have to decide to have an undecided major).

Then you have to decided where your priorities lie. Are you okay with missing a "once-in-a-lifetime" opportunity to audition for something you may not even get? Or will you regret never taking the chance?

You'll also have to decide how you want to maintain your grades. Your English teacher will give you a 30 page handout on greek literature. She'll test you over the entire thing. How much are you willing to study for it? Every other senior seems to be enjoying the fact they decided not to do their homework.

When Christmas Break rolls around, you'll start to realize time is passing way to quickly. But the 2nd semester is always the best. You've got all these competitions to look forward to, and you've got the hang of all the classes.

But then, you let yourself believe that you'll be successful at everything you do. The first time you didn't quite "make the cut" will be hard. You'll have to decide how you want to handle the situation. Will you take the criticism as advice on how to grow? Will you blame other's for your misfortune? Will you mope around expecting everyone to feel sorry for you? Will you rejoice with others as they succeed?

Who knows? You may succeed greatly. But how will you handle it? Will you be humble? Or will you let it get to your head?

Your high school counselor will constantly remind you that you have all these scholarships due, but you'll have to decide if you want to finish it as soon as possible or wait until the last minute.

You'll see people for the last time. You'll have your last history test. You'll have your last band concert. You'll write your last essay. You'll take your last high school picture.

You'll graduate.

Every decision you make, you'll probably be forced to make it on your own. Your attitude will eventually affect the rest of your decisions.

I'm not going to tell you everything you need to do. But I will tell you to enjoy your "year of lasts". You'll only get this year once. Before you make a decision, think about it, pray about it, go about it. 

Sincerely and Love,

Me. 

P.S.: It's always nice to wish others a great day. It's even better if you do it daily.