When a celebrity commits suicide, people tend to become experts in suicide prevention. People begin to know all the warning signs. They know all the "right things to say". They know all the "right things not to say". But I have a feeling those same people don't know that the very person sitting right next to them is suffering from the same thoughts and feelings that the celebrity once was, and when they do realize, it's either too late or they become afraid of how to deal with it.
I don't want to make this post about preventing or dealing suicide or depression. There's plenty of those. I want to be an encouragement to everyone and anyone. I want to provide words that I wish I had heard a few years ago, and still need to hear every once in a while.
Dear ______,
You are wonderful, even if you don't want to believe it. Whatever it is that is making you feel dark will eventually pass, even if it doesn't feel like it. People will love you, even if you feel unloveable.
In sixth grade, I watched a movie about a girl who did not feel worthy enough to compete in the National Spelling Bee, even though she was an incredibly fantastic speller. Somewhere in the movie, she was reminded of something I believe we are all to be reminded of:
"Our greatest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be gorgeous, talented, fabulous?' Actually, who are you not be be? We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us, and as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give others permission to do the same." -Marianne Williamson
Often, we feel as if we aren't good enough. No matter what we do, we will never be the person we need to be for others around us, which is scary. We allow ourselves to feel this way, and the feelings become deeper and more negative.
But then our feelings change. We accept that we are not going to be good, and we become afraid that once we do, it won't be what we want. And we grow accustomed to this and don't want to let our lights shine in our own darkness.
But why not? Because the world tells us that we aren't good.
The world did not make us. The world does not control our light.
"We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us..."
God, not the world, makes us beautiful. God, not the world, makes us talented. God, not the world, makes us fabulous. God, not the world, wants us to be a light. But first, we need to be our own light.
I understand how hard it is to break away from darkness, and I'm still learning.
Don't break away from those who love you. Even if you don't want to hurt them. Maybe you'll be lucky and find a friend that, no matter how hard you try to convince them otherwise, won't let you go.
It will take time, but I believe you will get through this. You will find the light-switch and become a light in your own world. Do not give up on yourself.
